The Death of a Nation: Why People Pleasing is a Disease
Most people don’t solve problems. They avoid them, hoping they’ll disappear like a bad dream. They ghost conflict, sweep issues under the rug, and pretend that silence equals peace. But silence isn’t peace. It’s slow death.
Ignoring a problem is like ignoring a tumor. It grows, festers, and eventually consumes everything. And when you finally acknowledge it, it’s too late. The damage is done.
So let’s get real: If you don’t deal with your problems, your problems will deal with you.
People Pleasing: The Silent Killer of Leadership
Being is South Africa for now over 14 years I came to a conclusion…most people, especially in South Africa are raised to be people pleasers. It’s woven into the culture. They are taught to be agreeable, not to rock the boat, and to avoid confrontation at all costs. But here’s the truth: people pleasers don’t lead. They enable. They enable dysfunction, corruption, and stagnation.
A leader who avoids addressing issues isn’t a leader. They’re a puppet, controlled by the fear of disappointing others. They say, “Let’s keep the peace.” What they really mean is, “I don’t have the courage to deal with this.”
Proper leadership requires confrontation. Not the toxic, ego-driven, “I’m right, you’re wrong” kind of confrontation—but direct, honest communication. The type of communication that cuts through the noise, hurts if necessary, but ultimately leads to clarity, progress, and respect.
The Habit That Becomes a Curse
Every action you repeat turns into a habit. A habit, repeated long enough, becomes a personality trait. Personality traits, when adopted by the masses, become culture. Culture, when left unchecked, becomes tradition. And tradition? That shapes an entire country.
This is exactly how South Africa (and many other places) became a nation of people pleasers. A culture that avoids conflict. A society where problems are left to fester because no one wants to be the “bad guy” who points them out.
- Corruption thrives because no one calls it out.
- Businesses stagnate because leaders would rather be liked than respected.
- Families suffer because no one wants to address generational trauma.
And we wonder why nothing changes.
The Cure: Radical, Unapologetic Communication
The cure to people pleasing is simple but brutal: Say what needs to be said, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Being born and raised in Serbia, I come from a nation wired to rebel. Centuries under Ottoman rule didn’t break us, it forged us. Being stubborn isn’t just my personality trait; it’s in my blood, passed down through generations of warriors and revolutionaries. When a nation spends hundreds of years under foreign control, it either submits or fights back. We chose to fight. That defiance runs deep in me. I question everything, push back against authority, and refuse to be controlled. Rebellion isn’t something I do, it’s who I am. Now imagine someone like me, blunt, rebellious, and unfiltered trying to communicate and lay things out as they are. It didn’t take long for me to realize that most people simply can’t handle the truth…yet that only fueled my desire to pursue it even more, regardless of whether people liked it or not.
They say the truth will set you free, but here’s my take: it only will if you’re willing to discover who you truly are and have the courage to stand firmly true to yourself.
Most people want validation, not truth. That’s why they struggle. That’s why they remain stuck. But real progress, real change, real leadership comes from having the tough conversations no one else is willing to have.
If you see a problem, address it. If something needs fixing, call it out. If someone is dragging the team down, confront them.
Yes, it will hurt feelings. Yes, people will resist. Yes, some will hate you for it. But in the end, they will respect you. And respect is infinitely more valuable than approval.
Final Thought
If you take nothing else from this, remember one thing: A leader who avoids problems isn’t a leader at all. They are a liability.
The world doesn’t need more nice people. It needs honest, direct, and fearless communicators. Be one.
This is one of the reasons why I’ve started the Millionaire Speakers and coomunication trainings.
From someone who once struggled with English, a natural introvert battling communication and social skills, public speaking changed everything for me. Last year alone, I spoke in front of 50,000 people. With nine books written, becoming an international best-selling author with the book endorsed by Tony Robbins, and sharing the stage with legends like Lisa Nichols, Les Brown, and Robert Kiyosaki, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: when you truly discover who you are and own it, the world will reshape itself to give you more of you.
This is one of the reasons why I’ve started the Millionaire Speakers and coomunication trainings.
Today I coach leaders, celebrities, politicians, executives, CEO’s, authors, entrepreneurs and aspiring speakers to become better, stronger leaders with the power of storytelling and to be unapologetically themselves. At the end, your story can change many lives and deserve to be told…if you are willing to step into your own greatness and become the leader that world desire!
Need help? I am here for you.
