Stage fright. It’s a fear that so many of us carry, a dread that can feel paralyzing the moment we step up to speak. But have you ever wondered what this fear really is? Why we shrink away from the spotlight, why our voices tremble, our hearts race? Why a seemingly straightforward task — speaking to a group — feels so daunting?
The reality is, fear of public speaking has little to do with the act of speaking and much more to do with how we perceive ourselves. Stage fright is just a symptom of something much deeper: the fear of being seen as we are, flaws and all. It’s self-fright. And overcoming it isn’t just about learning to speak better; it’s about understanding why the fear exists in the first place and dismantling it from within.
The Root of Stage Fright
At its core, stage fright is about rejection — a fear that our ideas, our perspectives, or our entire selves might be unworthy of the attention we’re asking for. When we speak, we’re asking people to listen, to validate, to accept, maybe even to respect what we have to say. This fear of rejection can make us feel small and cause the mind to scramble for ways to protect us. This is why, seconds before speaking, your mind might convince you that it’s safer to stay silent. Why risk the unknown when you can retreat to what’s comfortable?
But if you think about it, this fear doesn’t only apply to the stage. It’s the same feeling that stops us from speaking up in a meeting, from sharing a new idea, from telling people about a passion or goal. We feel vulnerable, exposed, and maybe even judged. It’s easier to avoid the discomfort and stay “safe.”
Breaking the Fear of Rejection
To overcome stage fright, we must first overcome the fear of rejection by reframing how we see ourselves and our potential for failure. Begin by asking yourself this: What’s the worst thing that could happen? Seriously. Imagine it. The worst thing people can do is disagree with you or not respond at all. Now, ask yourself: What’s the best that could happen?
The answer to that question is freedom. Freedom to show up as you are, to share ideas without fear, to express yourself fully. When you make peace with both the worst and the best that could happen, the stakes are lower. You don’t have to succeed every time. You don’t have to be the best. You just need to show up.
Developing True Confidence
True confidence doesn’t come from the act of speaking; it comes from accepting that your voice matters, regardless of how it’s received. Practice this by sharing more often. Start small — a story with a friend, a question in a meeting, a short presentation at work. Build up, and make it about the process, not the outcome.
Each time you put yourself out there, you desensitize yourself to the fear. Each time you risk rejection, you grow stronger and more certain that you can handle it. Because the truth is, no matter how people respond, you’ll still be standing.
The next time you feel the wave of stage fright, recognize it as a signpost pointing toward something within you that’s ready to be released. Embrace it as an opportunity to grow beyond the self-doubt and discover the confidence that’s been buried all along. Because stage fright isn’t about the audience. It’s about the self. And once you see it that way, the stage will no longer scare you; it will empower you.
I train politicians, executives, CEOs, entrepreneurs and aspiring speakers to overcome their anxiety and stage fright, own their story and become confident speakers and leaders. You can always get better!
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